Goodness, it seems a long time since I wrote anything on this lovely blog…..the main reason being that I haven’t been walking anywhere at all, which is bloody frustrating. My chest hasn’t been great since Christmas but seemed to get worse around the start of February. Not being the skinniest person in the world, I’m used to getting out of puff after a bit of exercise but I then started to have difficulty breathing after I had stopped – getting worse and worse after about 10 mins and I was starting to take up to 30 minutes to fully recover and breathe normally again. Then, about 2 weeks ago, I had what I realise now are a couple of big asthma attacks in the space of two days – one of which occured in public and was really very frightening, for me and the first aid man involved So, back to the doctors again to finally be diagnosed with ‘exercise-induced asthma’ and to have my peak flow confirmed at 290. I know nothing about asthma but the doctor told me that was pretty poor so she gave me a course of steroids and an inhaler, both of which have made a huge difference, but my peak flow remains at 290 so further tests are required to see why I’m not up around the 400-500 mark as I should be. Walking is on the back burner until things are sorted but I hope to get out and about on the hills very soon – I’m dying to walk in the Peak District this summer so that’s something to aim for.

It’s been about a month since my last post and I think I have walked precisely 0 miles since then It’s not for want of trying, but I can’t seem to shake off this stupid bronchitis which is making even the shortest journey on foot a bloody ordeal. Another visit to the doctor this week should confirm whether there’s any improvement and when I can start seriously walking again.

However, despite the (forced) lack of exercise, the losing weight bit is going brilliantly well. After a shaky start in the New Year, I went back and re-read Paul McKenna’s “I Can Make You Thin” (ICMYT), and caught the repeat of the series on LivingTV. Like regular walking, I knew this worked because I successfully lost a stone very easily on it last year. Also, like regular walking, I knew it wouldn’t work if I slipped back into my old ways of over-eating/bingeing. As an emotional eater, I know from bitter experience that ‘diets’ don’t work – it isn’t about the food I eat, it’s about how I act towards the food I eat. Limit me to 1500 cals a day and they’ll be gone by 10am if it’s a bad morning. 25 years of almost constant dieting has made me heavier than I’ve ever been with such a twisted attitude that sometimes I literally don’t know how to react when left alone with food. Pretty sad, eh? What I like about the ICMYT/NLP approach is that it forces you – gently – to change your behaviour in a very simple way. Bottom line is eat when you’re truly hungry, eat slowly and conciously and stop when you’re full. I don’t know why it’s clicked with me, but it has – I don’t argue, I just enjoy feeling like a normal person for once. Although I can eat what I want (as long as I’m truly hungry), there’s a big round tin of Kitkats, Swiss chocolate & pecan fudge in my kitchen and a packet of custard creams in the cupboard (along with lemon sorbet in the freezer and cheese, hummous and luxury yoghurt in the fridge) but I don’t want them. It’s not willpower, I just don’t want them. I’m genuinely not hungry. I can’t describe why I don’t want them, I just don’t. It’s a nice feeling

As an aside, knowing that McKenna does wonders with other problems, I used his tapping technique before going to the dentist today. To say I’m frightened of the dentist is an understatement (the last time I went I was so hysterical he advised psychiatric treatment before returning) so I wasn’t looking forward to it. However, the tapping worked, I felt calm and relaxed and I even laughed while in the chair.

Unheard. Of.